Early Derby Comments

After approximately a one year hiatus from posting a blog on this site, alas, I am back.  This time I'd like to take the opportunity to make a few comments regarding this year's crop of top three year olds who, presumably, will run at Churchill on the first Saturday in May.

 Obviously, I Want Revenge freaked in the Wood.  He looks like the horse to beat in the KY Derby but I can't stand part owner IEAH and thus, I must root against him.

 Quality Road won easily in the Florida Derby while running on a conveyor belt, which you or I could have won that day on that surface as well.  Moreover, the news yesterday of the quarter crack in his foot makes me even less of a supporter than before, which wasn't much to begin with.

 Poor old Pamplemousse bowed a tendon and is now off the Derby trail.  I was looking forward to seeing how the son of Kafwain, a horse with a $6,250 stud fee, would fare against the blue bloods who would have shared the starting gate with him May 2nd.

Notwithstanding the fact that Pioneer of the Nile is the son of my all-time favorite horse Empire Maker, I can't back him given the fact he's not proven on dirt.  I made that mistake last year with Col. John.  Sure the photo says he won the Travers on a dirt surface, even though we all know Mambo in Seattle actually won that race, I still can't play a synthetic horse again in the Derby.

Musket Man looks like a player but come on, who has he beat in his prep races?  My $3,500 claimer I used to own could have given him more competition than he had in Tampa and Chicago.

This all brings us to a horse who may not even qualify for the Derby but if he does, he's my play.  Although he didn't win the Florida Derby, once he gets a more even track without such a speed bias and an extra furlong with which to stretch his legs, Dunkirk is your Derby winner.  If indeed he doesn't qualify for the Derby based on their ridiculous graded stakes earnings requirement, then I'll give you a different horse to back.  In the meantime, however, Dunkirk is the play.  Good luck to all and I hope to post again soon.


Potential for a Good Claim

 Thanks to all of those who commented regarding my blog that Big Brown was a lock to lose the Belmont.  Looks like you are all without a clue.

 Now, just like the IEAH crew, I want to start my own syndicate.  Please let me know if you want to chip in and claim Big Brown for $50k, since that's about all he's worth.  I know, I know, some of you on here take everything so damned literally, you'll have some thorough breakdown of this blog as to why Big Brown will never be in that type of race and that he's such a great horse.  Learn to have a sense of humor for once in your damned lives people!!!

 Still, would you rather be in a group who pays $50 dimes (thousand for the non-degenerate reader) for him or $50 very, very, very, very large (millions for those readers once again) and now be stuck breeding a horse with no pedigree who cannot even deal with dirt being kicked in his face.  At least Kurt Rambis of the Lakers wore rec specs to help his eyes in tough situations.

Please feel free to comment and realize that yes, yet again, you will all be wrong.


Belmont Lock - No Trip Crown

You heard it here first, Big Brown will NOT win the Belmont.  I'm sorry to burst the bubble of all you overly zealous Big Brown worshippers but let me explain how his demise is going to go down.

John Servais is a likeable guy, right?  Why did the Belmont trainers send horse after horse after Smarty to wear him down?  Rhetorical question?  Perhaps.  Tricky Dicky Dutrow and IEAH are, at least in my mind, far from likeable.  In fact, whenever I see them on my plasma, I have to use a rag to wipe the scum off of the screen.

The connections of Brown's competitors will send their horses out to run him into the ground, thereby enabling either Casino Drive or Cork's prodigal son Dennis to run Brown over in the last hundred yards.

Please, I am not a charity, but I will gladly accept donations from your profits once you cash big tickets based on my impeccable logic.  Although this is not Paul Harvey, I still wish you all a Good Day!


I Need Big Brown

It's nice to talk to all of you once again after a lengthy hiatus.  For the first time in my life, I find myself rooting for a chalk in the Preakness.

However, I have a legitimate reason to do so.  I need Big Brown to win so my man Yutaka "Win Me Money" Take can bring Casino Drive home for me at a nice price in the Belmont.  How sick of a showdown that will be!

What Casino Drive's dam, Better Than Honour, has done is unbelievable, thowing two consecutive Belmont winners and a very possible third on June 7th.  If only Gloria James would have bred three consecutive LeBrons for my beloved Cavs so they could beat the Celts in 7!!!

Good luck to all.


Stud Fees

  I just got home from a bar where the girl of my dreams bartends.  We've been out before and, at least to my knowledge, all was going well.  I've spent a considerable amount of money on her and exhausted all of my charm and wit to, what appears to be, no avail whatsoever.

 So you ask, why the heck am I ranting already?  I'll tell you why.  I have an undergraduate and a law degree.  To most I'm a catch.  However, I still am about as worthwhile as Crackhead Bob from Howard Stern when it comes to women.

 How envious am I of studs like Storm Cat, Distorted Humor, A.P. Indy, and other high-priced sires???  When I'm out futilely spending hundreds of dollars chasing women, these monsters get paid $300,000 for ten seconds of their time!  Did they graduate from college? NO!  Law School?  NO!  Heck, they never even performed on the track until the third grade and they still make millions every Spring.  What gives?

 I don't see them making women smile (except during those ten seconds).  Even I, believe it or not, can last ten seconds.  The last time I made a woman smile is when my mom witnessed me have my Bar Mitzvah.  True, I'm still living off of my savings bonds I received that day, but that's not the point.  Shouldn't I be worth at least ten whole U.S. dollars?  Help me out all, dammit.  Logic no longer plays a role in my life!

 By the way, thanks to those who commented on my last blog and I will entertain you all again soon.  Take care.

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